It’s true, Mount Allison has seen its first H1N1 (“heenee”) diagnoses. Incidence in Canada is currently the third highest of all countries in the world, falling just behind Mexico and the United States. While the spread of the disease is real, maybe it’s just me, but it seems like everywhere you look there’s a new myth about this infection. I thought this week I’d attempt to dispel a few.

The vaccine is not going to kill you. As with any vaccine, there are risks. Usually negative reactions are mild, but the rare patient will have a severe reaction. Let me stress the rare part. The biggest risk from the vaccine is Guillain-Barré, an auto-immune disorder that attacks the nervous system. Odds of getting this from the vaccine are about one in a million, but about forty in a million cases of swine flu will see this. So you’re probably better off with the vaccine. All in all, the vaccine is a hell of a lot safer than the disease.

Pandemic ≠ black plague. Yes, the heenee has been dubbed a pandemic, but this doesn’t mean people will be dropping dead in the streets middle ages-style. This term refers only to the global spread of the disease, not its severity. More people have died from Lyme disease in the last 300 days than from swine flu. Who even knows anyone who’s had Lyme disease? This number is bound to increase as the flu season progresses, but it’s likely that the mass hysteria seen in too many homes is a bit of an overreaction.

Home remedies probably won’t work. For any illness, rumours of home-cooked cures are bound to spread, but it’s usually in your best interest to trust sources like your doctor and Health Canada over your grandmother’s herbal tea. Sandra Oh (and that one Argosy editor) were wrong to think that vitamins would protect them. I had a good laugh at the expense of one girl who thought she was immune because “she doesn’t even eat beef”.

Heenee is not more deadly than the regular influenza. Okay, nobody really knows for sure what the 2009 flu will bring, but stats so far show that more people will die from the normal seasonal flu than this piggy variety. The scariness stems from who falls within the at-risk demographic – it seems almost as though the younger you are the more susceptible you are. What’s more, up to eighty per cent of young people getting the virus have no underlying condition leading to death, unlike the ordinary flu.

We don’t know for sure that it’s going to get worse. Although the virus can mutate pretty easily, nobody can map out the disease’s progression with certainty. Epidemiologists quiver at the prospect of “swine flu parties” where people will intentionally get the virus in order to develop immunity for a later, more deadly strand. This is just plain stupid. Don’t.

Wearing a mask will not keep the virus out. Even assuming you get a mask with a small enough filter to keep out the virus, a mask isn’t a very good strategy. As soon as moisture from your breath starts to moisten the mask, it becomes ineffective. Plus you look like a total tool.

The vaccine is not too expensive. It’s free! Who doesn’t like free stuff? Granted, a jab in the arm isn’t as awesome as some sweet new roller skates, but, hey, you’re a student! Take whatever handouts you can get.

It could get worse. It’s sad to say that nobody can be sure what’s going to happen to this strain of flu. There’s been some speculation that because killing the host is not in the germ’s best interest the death rate won’t increase. Flu epidemics in the past have seen worsening, and nobody can say for sure what’s going to happen with this. Incidences of swine flu will almost definitely increase, but as far as the severity goes, it’s anyone’s guess.

There’s been a lot of silly assumptions made about this disease. Educate yourself. It’s the best way to keep healthy. Play safe!