The Muffin Review is back by popular demand. I’ve spent the last few weeks’ meditation atop the highest point in Sackville to achieve enlightenment before attempting to review another positively pleasurable pastry. Under cold showers, meteor showers, and the thoughts of wind power I sat and contemplated upon which muffins I would choose. Here it is, the next segment to inform, enlighten, and tempt you, my dearest reader, into picking the most prefect muff in the MTA library.
Black gold- this term is most common when discussing the precious resource known as oil, but something more precious can be found in our very own library. I’m not talking about books, nor writing resources, or even educational documentation; I’m talking about a muffin, the ‘Double Chocolate’ muffin to be exact. They say chocolate is a girl’s best friend, so when they say ‘double chocolate’ you better believe a girl is going to be very happy. This dark and delicious delight isn’t only for the feminine physique, but can be enjoyed by all peoples regardless of gender. The brown crunchy top is a gateway to a moist and supple inner core with hidden gems. Like a miner panning for gold, these nuggets of chocolate are a welcomed surprise. It is clear to see why the word ‘double’ is placed before “chocolate”, with a scrumptious brunette body and a loaded chocolate-chunk soul this divine muffin makes anyone’s day a bit sweeter. However, to my tremendous disappointment, it would seem like the wax wrapping enjoyed the muffin as much as I did and did not want to give it up willingly
Now to the extreme! Well, to the ‘Extreme Fruit’ that is. This muffin had me begging for more from the first bite. In fact, it’s rather hard for me to come up with clever and witting analogies due to the sheer pleasure I’ve gained from this ridiculously rockin’ muffin. The amount of fruit in this muffin would have Barney give up stealing Fred’s fruity pebbles. When I first laid eyes upon the brown top it was splattered with fruit like the aim of a bad paintball gunner. Its tie-dye core was literally stuffed with a cornucopia of berries, too many to count. I tasted berries I didn’t even recognize and could not readily identify as other than mouth-watering. My taste buds was assaulted in every direction by the sweet and fragrant flavor of fruit and berries that persisted for heavenly minutes in between bites. Frankly, this muffin is fucking awesome. This isn’t an opinion, it’s a fact. It’s a statement. It’s reality.
When we look at the stats we can break down our muffin madness. The Double Chocolate muffin was an intensive explosion of chocolatey goodness that was both rich and delectable. This muffin is prefect for that needed break in the afternoon or after dinner. This decadent dessert muffin had me relaxed and chilled and gave me a greater perspective on my day. The Extreme Fruit was a fresh burst of fruit and berries that overwhelmed my senses to no end. Prefect for that needed boost of fruity power, especially in the morning or during the evening. This positively powerful muffin had me energized and equipped and gave me the vigor I needed to complete my day. Now it’s up to you, my hungry reader, to make your choice and pick a tasty muff in the MTA library.